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TOPIC: I Need Help And Advice

I Need Help And Advice 27 Jan 2019 12:04 #13364

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I hate my job so much, its making me mentally ill. There are many things I hate about my job.

I hate the comute to and from the job. I live in Watford and the job is in Denham.
Part of my journey involves me having to use a busy section of the M25. Because I want to avoid sitting in heavy traffic,
I get up at 5am and leave the house by 5.45am. I still get a lot of traffic even this early in the morning! I'm not exactly a nataural early riser, so I find it a real struggle to get out of bed this early every day. (Especailly in the winter time)
I don't even have a peaceful nights sleep untill 5am. I'm awake a lot sooner than that! I wake up many times throughout the night worrying and freting about going to work.

Once I'm at work I have absolutey no interested in what I'm doing and even though I'm busy all day, the time just drags. 1 hour seems like 2 (or more!). I hate it when people (including by boss) asks if I'm happy and my goto responce is to say yes. I would love to say "No, I'm not happy" and explain why.

I've talked to a few other (trusted) members of staff and they would also like to leave ASAP. They, like me are only there for the money.
I would love to sit down with my two managers and tell them how ill the job is making me, but I feel this could be a mistake as I could be without an income by the end of the day.

I've felt this way for the best part of a year now and I've been applying for other jobs left, right and centre. I've have about a dozen interviews throughout the year, but got a rejection from all of them. Most companies don't even respond, even if you send them an email.

My hatred for the job is so bad, its on my mind all the time even at the weekends, I'm not sleeping well. Things I used to enjoy doing (eg: playing computer games), I no longer get any enjoyment from. I don't even start them up. My time at the weekends is spent mostly going back and forth between Facebook and Youtube waisting time just waiting for Monday to roll around.

I've been appling for mostly warehouse jobs, but I'm begining to think that might be a mistake because I think I've become bored with warehouse and picking/packing type roles. That could be a part of the reason why I hate my current job so much.

I'm a shy quiet introvert and because I have to work in a large group of people all day, I feel exhausted when I go home. I would like to change to a creative problem solving type of job where I can work alone for my next job. For example: An IT job, Video Editor or working outdoors.

I found this site and a lot of what it says I feel relates to me. (introvertdear.com/news/introvert-jobs/)

I think the only way out of my current situation is to take a day off and walking down my local highstreet to visit a few agencies.

I'll end by asking if you think it's a good idea to inform my two managers about how mentally ill the job is making me.?

One of three things could happen.:
1. They could tell me to go away and suck it up.
2. They could be simpathetic and offer me part time hours.
3. They could show me the door and let me go.

Thanks for all answers and advice.
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I Need Help And Advice 27 Jan 2019 12:22 #13365

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This is indeed a nasty situation to be in, And im sure lots of Advice and Tips will be forthcoming, One Very important thing to bare in mind;
If you leave Any Job Voluntarily as far as I know you Cannot Claim Any Benefits for 6 Months, So unless you have savings to cover this period,
Dont quit your current job until you have a Guaranteed Job to go straight into.

You could consider going selth employed, I did for over 20 years, But today with the problems created by UC, this may no longer be a good road to go down.
Hope this Helps.
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I Need Help And Advice 27 Jan 2019 12:34 #13366

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paulm wrote: I'm not sleeping well. Things I used to enjoy doing (eg: playing computer games), I no longer get any enjoyment from. I don't even start them up.

Hi paulm - This jumped off the page at me as being a slide into depression. This can sneak into your life at a steady pace until you feel you can`t cope. Don`t let it get that far. I`m thinking off the top of my head here but if this was me, I would make an appointment with a GP (one who you like) and ask your GP for a one month fit note based around the way you are feeling and your coping mechanisms crashing around you. Explain to the GP that it`s the work place you are IN that is the direct cause. Your employer should pay you SSP while you take this break, although if memory serves me well, I think you have to have worked for an employed for at least two years? before they pay SSP? Hopefully someone else can verify this. It`s just something I possibly read but I`m not an employment guru as you can appreciate!

This one month leave would give you some time to rest, re-think and look at your options. Maybe talk to some agencies and see if there are a few openings for you where you may be able to leave your full time job but still manage on maybe a contract for 6-12 months or work less hours, but still have enough to live off that you feel more comfortable with. This could then allow you to make a claim for Universal Credit further down the line should that contract end and you are not able to get another job right away. But obviously that`s not an area you want to go down if you can stay in work that pays.....not easy these days, I know. BUT...if and when you did ever need to claim UC, your application would ask why did your last employment end or ask questions relating to past employment. This would look better if you said that you were doing contract work and it came to an end, rather than saying you were in full time work and just left because it was making you ill. DWP would obviously look into that so even if you had fit notes from a GP, you want to make sure you have a smooth history of sorts to enable any claim for UC in the future to be stalled because they need` more information`.

Getting up in the cold dark mornings is difficult enough without having a long commute and no sleep. Hope other members can give you some pointers re-other employment routes. I just wanted to add something surrounding your options to have some time out using the medical route. But pleased do this (a) if you need it and (b) try and save some cash for a rainy day just for these things when they do happen.
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I Need Help And Advice 29 Jan 2019 23:11 #13522

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Hmmm bosses asking if you are happy and replying honestly. I knew a teacher off another site who did that and it took the superior by surprise expecting people to automatically say yes when they already know people don't look too happy and are just looking for an excuse to give some type of halfbaked pep talk or like you intimate eventually sack them in favour of eager new starters.

I tend to be a bit careful and hesitate with advice these days so after reading your post I slept on it. One thing jumps out to me and that is going through this grind all week then not doing much nice at the weekend either, in effect punishing yourself on top of what the job is doing to you. Corny I know but maybe celebrating with a TGIF and hello two days of freedom mentality might be a start. Obviously this place is sapping your physical as well as mental energy and then you can get in a vicious circle and as comply or die touched on, there are elements of depressive tendencies forming. I am a predominantly introverted manic depressive. I have had some art therapy which helped a lot even though I will never be a painter, I enjoyed it. Musical instruments have helped a lot as well - similarly there isn't much talent there either but it doesn't bother me at 53. Counsellors will point things like this out but maybe not hit you so bluntly so soon as I just have.

You could save yourself some time if thinking of going that route via your GP and think what else you could do at the weekend within a reasonable expectation/target. I aren't assuming you are musical and the basic principle here could be applied to other things. Learning guitar for example (chords, scales etc) involves 10 minutes 'practice' per day every day but you can 'play' it for as long as you have available time. So the work versus play balance there is very flexible, I don't know how this works for other instruments but imagine there would be similar advice/coaching - I got all mine out of books and some tips off YouTube.

As with the vicious circle, positivity works in a similar but productive way being that you might then not feel as bad when you turn up at colditz on Monday. Hopefully something will spring to mind that you were going to have a go at but never got around to but might still be feasible and an initial period then sparks off a deeper interest - being introverted, people are less likely to succeed in stopping you doing what you enjoy.

Not much I am afraid but hopefully this might help your grey matter come up with something - always best if we come up with a solution ourselves imho.
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I Need Help And Advice 31 Jan 2019 21:35 #13607

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Today I decided to make an appointment to see my GP next Friday.
I'll explain how my job is making me ill and tell them how depressed and unhappy I am.
Hopefully the doctor will sign me off for a few weeks. I don't need any medication for my stress, anxiety and depression.
I just need some time away from work.
I just hope the doctor doesn't think I'm making it up to get time off work. :unsure:

If the doctor does sign me off, I shall use the time to visit some agencies and see if they can help. If not, I'll just have to take some holidays.
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I Need Help And Advice 31 Jan 2019 22:49 #13608

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Hi Paulm10,

Have been where you are and as Comply says, depression can creep up on you until bam! your no longer able to cope.

With me it was do a good few sickies which were as far as i am concerned truly justified.On;y some tory jobsworth would say otherwise.

Then a good few fit notes from Dr and company x were glad to see the back of me.But nowhere near as much as i was them :) .

Look at your work and quality of life balance along with all finiacials.You may even be better off on benefits as a lot are these days.

"I've been appling for mostly warehouse jobs, but I'm begining to think that might be a mistake because I think I've become bored with warehouse and picking/packing type roles. That could be a part of the reason why I hate my current job so much."

Yes be careful when choosing any job as i have found the warehouse city route not too great.Things have changed a lot in that sector in that most are working to the microsecond to achieve mass profits for the lovely bosses.Being monitored like a bloody prisoner, and then being paid like their still a kid doing a paper round. :whistle: :evil: Agencies love gathering sheep for this as its the only high turnover of staff out of most jobs now left in the uk. Hence the torys always banging on about the many jobs they created.They got that right shame their all in bloody ware house city with most still signing on to bump up their pay. :whistle: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: Think i am going to blow a gasket.

Its a sad state of affairs that the muppet show running this place have done bugger all to help create any jobs inline wit the cost of living.If you arent skilled up to your neck in something very special say a surveyor,plumber,bricklayer,maybe some types of IT financial city analyst the future is bloody grim.

If your still under 35 still time to retrain if you have the willpower for that.

Myself are multi skilled in my late 50s now getting rusty by the day and no company in their right mind will ever touch me.So its either warehouse city, garden centre, diy shop,coffee shop, pizza delivery or dole. :whistle: Not that there's anything wrong with working in any i mention, it's just the maths..... dosent 'work.'


Rant over. :)


Good luck .Let us all know how this pans out.

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I Need Help And Advice 08 Feb 2019 15:19 #13957

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paulm- I thought this might be useful to you in regards SSP if you need time off from the job you are already in:

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/work/rights-at-work/sick-pay/check-if-youre-entitled-to-sick-pay/

SSP pays £92.05p a week for up to 28 weeks.
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I Need Help And Advice 08 Feb 2019 15:25 #13961

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I had my appointment with the doctor this morning. I told her that my job was causing me to become depressed. I also told her about all the symtoms that I am experiancing. (constantly anxious & worrying, unable to sleep, not enjoying the things I used to. etc.)

She came to the conclusion that all of my stress and depression problems come from the fact that I hate my job. She asked me what I'd like her to do?
I asked to about a "Fit Note" and she said she couldn't give me a Fit Note just because I didn't like where I work.
I can kind of see her point. On the surface it does sound like I just want to get out of work, but my problems are only going to get worse if I stay there.

I then asked her if she could give me a letter explaining my problems that I could give to my employers. She then printed out a "Statement Of Fitness For Work" that gives me next week off work. I'll use this time to register with some agencies and discuss my situation with them. Hopefully they can help me.

When I go back to work, I'll have to have an "interesting" conversation with my managers. Who knows how they will react?
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I Need Help And Advice 08 Feb 2019 16:11 #13964

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Unable to sleep means it has gone past the stage of merely hating your job, it is already affecting your health. I wish your doctor had seen this and offered you the option of some counselling or other type of support. A counsellor would work with you on both the hate and the sleep firstly through listening to you which I think would be helpful as well as seeing if there is anyway to improve the relationship between you and your boss(es). The ugly truth is that your doctor probably only has somebody with a long waiting list and might have thought this even more disheartening for you to hear right now - hence asking you. Counselling doesn't work for everyone and of the several I saw over a period of years about half helped. So who is to say it would benefit you anyway although the way you set things out you come across as someone who would try and work with them rather than expect the counsellor just to fix everything. You shouldn't rule out asking about this type of support if you have to go back to the doctor anytime soon unless of course you are dead against the idea yourself. I would be concerned if you are offered medication first.

Anyway looking on the positive side which is generally what you are trying to do by planning how to use this week. You have clearly identified a lot of things already and seem to be going about it all methodically. Maybe channelling all the energy from the hate into positively moving on is the way to think as you seem able to put the actual job itself on auto anyway which many people would struggle to do once it has got to this state of affairs.

Good luck one or more of the agencies you come across have something on offer that seems worthwhile and appreciate your own particular skills and experience. They always say that it is easier to get a job whilst already in one so in this respect avoiding huge lengthy periods off work and risking unemployment is the best way forward as long as you can stick it and you've put up with a lot already. If things get moving then you can put the medical side on hold for the minute and hopefully things begin to improve in the meantime and you get back to sleeping right and through this dark period.
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I Need Help And Advice 08 Feb 2019 16:51 #13966

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paulm wrote: I asked to about a "Fit Note" and she said she couldn't give me a Fit Note just because I didn't like where I work.
I can kind of see her point. On the surface it does sound like I just want to get out of work, but my problems are only going to get worse if I stay there.

And if they DO worsen, you go back and explain to her what you told her before and give some examples. The week long fit note is good and gives you a `window` to reflect and get some rest. :)

Employers are supposed to make `reasonable adjustments` remember around their employees if they start to have physical or mental health issues and try to work around those issues, but obviously travel times and getting up really early are two of your negatives that can`t really be solved unless they agree to allow you to start later in the mornings. Worth asking for though if it will help you in the meantime.
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I Need Help And Advice 08 Feb 2019 18:15 #13972

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I'd like to say a big thank you to everyone for the fantastic advice and support.

THANK YOU.
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I Need Help And Advice 08 Feb 2019 22:50 #13976

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paulm10 wrote:
I'd like to say a big thank you to everyone for the fantastic advice and support.

THANK YOU.

Thats what we are here for; :) Anything we can do to help, Dont Hesitate to Ask. :)
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I Need Help And Advice 09 Feb 2019 09:16 #13982

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Aye up Paul,
I went to my GP in October the moment i couldnt sleep,loss of appetite,struggling to concentrate of simple day to day tasks etc and suggested i speak to the mental health team
It took about a month but they put me in touch with mental health services and had 1 meeting and 2 phone calls.1st meeting to discuss your problems,struggles and impact its having on your day to day activities - key term - day to day activities,so it IS impacting youre life already.
The follow up calls were to assess how youve been and i was offered cbt or counselling sessions.

I was reluctant to go but my nephew is a nurse and saw the signs that i was struggling and he said i have to go as if things go very wrong very fast(not saying they will but you never know what turns life will take) at least your current struggles are documented by your gp and mental health services,yknow like a back up or evidence that youre having a hard time but you are seeking help.

I know youve already taken the first step but just wanted to say youve deffo done the right thing.
Good luck mate.

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