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JOB VACANCY 09 Jan 2019 15:33 #12716

  • Paul-UB40
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Here is a Rare & Interesting Job.
You will be Working Personally with The Queen, Or HRH The Duke of Edinburgh,

Who was the last Groom of the Stool?
Answered by Eugene Byrne, author and journalist

In English royalty, the Groom of the Stool was originally a servant who assisted the king with bodily functions and washing. The stool in question was a ‘close stool’ – a fixed or portable commode – and help was needed with the putting on and taking off of elaborate and expensive clothing.

Under the Tudors, Grooms of the Stool were important functionaries because of this intimate access. All of Henry VIII’s grooms were knights. Sir Henry Norris, for instance, was closely aligned to Anne Boleyn’s faction and was executed at the time of her downfall; Sir Anthony Denny controlled Henry’s signature stamp and helped draw up the latter’s will.

Queens had their own intimate ladies, and the office lapsed under Mary and Elizabeth I. So the last Groom of the Stool in the strict sense was possibly Sir Michael Stanhope, who served Edward VI. He was hanged for ‘felony’ before Edward’s death, but it’s not clear if his role was then taken by anyone else.

Under the Stuarts, the office morphed into ‘Groom of the Stole’, with its implications of dressing the monarch rather than helping him visit the privy. Depending on the individual monarch, the role would also have devolved onto offices like Groom or Lord of the Bedchamber. The last person to hold the title of Groom of the Stole was James Hamilton, 2nd Duke of Abercorn (1838–1913) who served the Prince of Wales, but the job did not continue when the latter became King Edward VII.

And Here;

An Open Letter To Queen Elizabeth
September 8, 2015 Shaun Surplus

Dear Elizabeth,

My name is Shaun and I have a few questions for you. These questions may seem a little forward and somewhat disturbing at first, but I assure you, they are honest questions and need honest answers.

Elizabeth, when you go to the toilet for a number 2, how do you sit? Are you one of those that sit with your elbows on your legs as if your on a lunch break on a construction site, or a person that sits upright, with your feet slightly cocked to the outside, in hopes that you will not have back problems?

Elizabeth, when you go to the toilet for a number 2 and have a little trouble getting it to come out, after a lack of prunes, do you screw your face up and turn a little red, making all kinds of grunting noises?

Elizabeth, when you wipe your bottom after a number 2, do you look at the toilet paper to see how much poo there is, so that you know how many more wipes you will need to get rid of the rest?

Elizabeth, have you ever been in such a rush for a number 2, (especially now that you’re older) that you had to squeeze your butt cheeks together and walk like a midget to get to the toilet?

Elizabeth, have you ever had the unfortunate experience of laughing so hard that a little wee ran down your leg and then cover it up somehow because you’re a Queen?

I could ask so many more questions Elizabeth, but I am guessing you are catching my drift.


If you answered yes to any of these questions, then I am daring to say you’re a human being. So why do you own the title Queen, especially in the year 2015? Why do you see yourself higher than so many of us? Don’t you think it’s time to drop the charade and the false title and confess to your crimes against humanity, starting with the fact that you honored British men that killed innocent people during Bloody Sunday in Ireland? Perhaps we can then move onto why it is you condone the (B)rothschilds. Yes?

Most of all Elizabeth, (and your biggest crime of all) should you not be severely punished for Knighting Bob Geldof and Elton John?

I’ll leave these questions here for you too stew on for a while and you can by all means answer when you are comfortable.

Perhaps you can think of theses questions when you’re next on the “throne” for a number 2.

Sincerely indeed,

Shaun / Surplus

Editor’s notes:

Elizabeth is actually a gigantic lizard. David Icke told me so.

Elizabeth does not actually wipe her own butt. That’s the Groom of the Stool’s job. Alex Jones told me so.



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