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TOPIC: Loneliness

Loneliness 03 Feb 2018 22:38 #6030

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I have been Emailing and tweeting the new Minister for loneliness but they keep ignoring me.

Not everything is black and white this minister could be the minister for the prevention of freedom.

Do you have periods of loneliness ? how do you cope ? or are you surrounded by people and just want peace and quiet ?

Do people mistake loneliness when you just prefer to shy away from the rest of humanity ?

Does living alone mean by default your lonely ?

I live alone, all my direct family now passed away, I live away from my home town and lost contact with all my friends over the years.

I find it hard to make new friends in the real world let alone a partner most people just do not think the way I do, so I have very little in common with those I do meet.

My only contact now is with my son who I unintentionally radicalised during his upbringing, he is always travelling the length and breadth of the country up to this and that and god knows what else in order to not sign on so only see him occasionally.

I tell him how ashamed I am that my only son refuses to claim benefits, lol

But am I lonely

I can eat what I want,when I want to eat without a big discussion.

Watch, listen,read what I want without fear of interruption or appearing ignorant.

Go wherever I want, whenever I want, without it interrupting anyone's schedule.

Concentrate all my energies on my own goals,ambitions, hopes and dream without having to consider anyone else.

So could being loneliness actually mean freedom, it is just embracing it that is the hard part ?

Thoughts,views,opinions always welcome.


"So loneliness, on this reading, isn't something to be shunned or afraid of: it is, rather, a possible catalyst for a more purposeful and engaging life, and an avenue for heightened self-awareness."
philosophicalsociety.com/Archives/An%20Existential%20View%20Of%20Loneliness.htm
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Loneliness 04 Feb 2018 10:15 #6031

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Thanks for bringing this subject up dboy because strangely enough, it`s something that has been on my mind recently. Thinking more about who I am, where I am, who do I still have around me who may not be if in ten years time, I`m living alone and solely reliant upon my own initiative to stay sane and to carry on `as normal` when family members pass on. Will I be more depressed as a result of losing my mother? Will I still be claiming sickness benefit (LCW)? Will my health get better or deteriorate? Will I be fine living alone or will I feel fearful or isolated?

All the thoughts that go through our minds. I would like to paint a picture of living in a wee community of older people, somewhere quiet, but at the same time, near to shops, GP surgery/dentist and be able to get to places without having to walk half a mile to catch a bus! Loneliness can be a terrible thing and there are already people in communities who have nobody to chat with or have a cuppa with. Something I would like to be involved with as a volunteer, but I know it involves contacting services who place individuals with certain people and that`s fine. But being the person I am, I would want matched with people who are (a) non smokers and (b) didn`t require going out in a wheelchair because I can`t push one with my neck pain.
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Loneliness 04 Feb 2018 11:14 #6032

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Wish I had time to consider if I was Lonely or Not!
Better put that into context;
Most of my Family moved to Australia some 40 years or more ago, Did get out there to visit and see the Country,
Got Deported :( , Family are now Departed; the rest disowned me years ago.
Retired at 65 1 year ago, but benefit cuts & Reduced pension, no choice but to work part time.
Rent my Home, No Car.
But Have many Interests & Hobbies, Huge Liverpool Football Club Supporter B)
Writing a book of my life, And just set up my own Forum 2018-unemployment.freeforums.net/
So life is hectic, Enjoy a pint down the Pub when funds permit ;)
Am I Lonely ?, Nope don't get the time.
YNWA: You'll Never Walk Alone
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Loneliness 04 Feb 2018 12:48 #6033

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I think life is what we make of it too because if I was more in control of the pain that dogs my life, I loved to be outdoors more, DIY stuff, keeping small pets and would generally be a happier person. I know that. But when life kicks you in the teeth with health problems, it can be a challenge to cope with those and to try and still enjoy the things I used to do. I thought about getting some fish but then doing the water changes, checking the chemical changes and just being able to keep a small tank of fish seems harder these days than it was all those years ago when we won a goldfish at the fair and used tap water! I think I`ll stick to feeding the garden birds!

Edited to add: That`s a nice wee forum there Paul. B)
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Loneliness 04 Feb 2018 15:30 #6035

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Paul-UB40 wrote:
Wish I had time to consider if I was Lonely or Not!
Better put that into context;
Most of my Family moved to Australia some 40 years or more ago, Did get out there to visit and see the Country,
Got Deported :( , Family are now Departed; the rest disowned me years ago.
Retired at 65 1 year ago, but benefit cuts & Reduced pension, no choice but to work part time.
Rent my Home, No Car.
But Have many Interests & Hobbies, Huge Liverpool Football Club Supporter B)
Writing a book of my life, And just set up my own Forum 2018-unemployment.freeforums.net/
So life is hectic, Enjoy a pint down the Pub when funds permit ;)
Am I Lonely ?, Nope don't get the time.

Well always happy to read some extracts of your book Paul, always interested in other peoples journeys.

Writing book about your life is a great idea, it puts your life in context, reflecting on past events, We all have a book in us, so they say.
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Loneliness 04 Feb 2018 15:48 #6036

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comply or die wrote:
I think life is what we make of it too because if I was more in control of the pain that dogs my life, I loved to be outdoors more, DIY stuff, keeping small pets and would generally be a happier person. I know that. But when life kicks you in the teeth with health problems, it can be a challenge to cope with those and to try and still enjoy the things I used to do. I thought about getting some fish but then doing the water changes, checking the chemical changes and just being able to keep a small tank of fish seems harder these days than it was all those years ago when we won a goldfish at the fair and used tap water! I think I`ll stick to feeding the garden birds!

Edited to add: That`s a nice wee forum there Paul. B)
Have you ever considered Cannabis to control your pain, I am a great advocate for the healing powers this plant can bring.
I could go on and on comply it is another part of my life to have it legalised, you do not have to smoke you can use it in spray form.
Far safer than the drugs your are probably being prescribed and has known to work miracles you only have to do a google search.

I also recommend everyone should experience LSD at least once in their lives,it is a life changing experience, all your senses become heightened you see the world in a whole new perspective, the long term affects of curing depression and other mental health issues through the use of LSD is well documented.
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Loneliness 04 Feb 2018 18:54 #6038

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Agree Cannabis Is a great Natural Herb, At last slowly being legalized across the USA;
In my Dodgy past did quite a bit of speed, and Yes have tried Acid, "Weird"

Book Writing, well It won't be Boring, Violent Childhood; football Holligan; been around the world,
Inc places very much now Off-Limits due to Wars [ie; Syria; Jordan & Pakistan]
some time spent at "Her Majesty's Pleasure" :whistle:
And so it goes on; Now just growing older Disgracefully. :pinch:
Unconventional Life, Yep that's me, See told you I have no time to be lonely.
But I have now had to Give up Climbing & Caving, My Mind is still raring to go
But my body can no longer keep up.
Still do Weights and Boxing though. B)
YNWA: You'll Never Walk Alone
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Loneliness 04 Feb 2018 19:31 #6039

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Paul-UB40 wrote:
Agree Cannabis Is a great Natural Herb, At last slowly being legalized across the USA;
In my Dodgy past did quite a bit of speed, and Yes have tried Acid, "Weird"

Book Writing, well It won't be Boring, Violent Childhood; football Holligan; been around the world,
Inc places very much now Off-Limits due to Wars [ie; Syria; Jordan & Pakistan]
some time spent at "Her Majesty's Pleasure" :whistle:
And so it goes on; Now just growing older Disgracefully. :pinch:
Unconventional Life, Yep that's me, See told you I have no time to be lonely.
But I have now had to Give up Climbing & Caving, My Mind is still raring to go
But my body can no longer keep up.
Still do Weights and Boxing though. B)
It also legal in a few EU countries and decriminalised in a lot of others wont be long before they wake up and see sense.

lol, I know who stand behind then if we get to Parliament.

I spent some time caving living close to the peak district, some great climbs this end, I do not climb though, can hardly go up a ladder without trembling.
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Loneliness 05 Feb 2018 14:13 #6048

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And according to the article the tax alone would raise an estimated "£1bn a year in taxes". Every one is a winner then? :)

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/cannabis-legalisation-marijuana-uk-1bn-a-year-in-taxes-a6918161.html
Do not let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace.
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Loneliness 05 Feb 2018 14:35 #6049

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dboy wrote> Have you ever considered Cannabis to control your pain

No, but I have a friend (pen pal from years ago!) who lives in the state of Oregon in the US and she takes it in the form of `jellies` for a recent diagnosis of chronic fatigue syndrome. She swears by it but due to medical costs being sky-high over there, it`s the best alternative for her. I also saw a few recent documentaries on Cannabis being legalised in stores over there but I think you still need a script from a general practitioner which costs around $80 for an online chat about why you need to be prescribed it. Although I `think` you can just buy the jellies and powders and other concoctions with cash. Wish it was easier in the UK to try these things but the toxicity of Cannabis or `hemp` products can be varied. Some can have the brain chemical changing form while others will be nothing more than a cream you apply to the area and won`t have much effect.
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Loneliness 05 Feb 2018 15:09 #6053

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El-dudeareno wrote:
And according to the article the tax alone would raise an estimated "£1bn a year in taxes". Every one is a winner then? :)

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/cannabis-legalisation-marijuana-uk-1bn-a-year-in-taxes-a6918161.html
Not only would it save loads of money on policing, collecting taxes but think a whole new cottage industry.

People can set up business growing from home, like a micro brewery, they can then sell on to the public and pharmaceutical industry.

Without going into all the ins and outs a small grower can have a better product than the large companies.

And you would be surprised how many well known people have shares in cannabis farms waiting for the time the law catches up, Richard Branson for one.
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Loneliness 05 Feb 2018 15:19 #6054

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comply or die wrote:
dboy wrote> Have you ever considered Cannabis to control your pain

No, but I have a friend (pen pal from years ago!) who lives in the state of Oregon in the US and she takes it in the form of `jellies` for a recent diagnosis of chronic fatigue syndrome. She swears by it but due to medical costs being sky-high over there, it`s the best alternative for her. I also saw a few recent documentaries on Cannabis being legalised in stores over there but I think you still need a script from a general practitioner which costs around $80 for an online chat about why you need to be prescribed it. Although I `think` you can just buy the jellies and powders and other concoctions with cash. Wish it was easier in the UK to try these things but the toxicity of Cannabis or `hemp` products can be varied. Some can have the brain chemical changing form while others will be nothing more than a cream you apply to the area and won`t have much effect.
In some parts of the US you can legally grow at home and sell your excess product to the pharmaceutical industry.

There are products produced from Cannabis that do not contain the psychoactive element (THC).

Coincidentally just last night on dragons den someone had a whole range of creams and tinctures made from hemp.
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Loneliness 05 Feb 2018 17:01 #6057

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dboy wrote: Coincidentally just last night on dragons den someone had a whole range of creams and tinctures made from hemp.

I seen that dboy, love Dragon`s Den! Well.....at least the concept of people doing well but not forgetting where they came from as some millionaires do. Can`t remember who gave them the money? But they obviously seen the profit margins and thinking ahead at the prospects of yield from what could be a huge global business if governments took their fingers out and allowed it`s production within the law.

dboy wrote: There are products produced from Cannabis that do not contain the psychoactive element (THC)

Yes, these products would be allowed due to their weaker potency without the mind-bending side effects! :silly:
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Loneliness 05 Feb 2018 17:36 #6058

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comply or die wrote:
dboy wrote: Coincidentally just last night on dragons den someone had a whole range of creams and tinctures made from hemp.

I seen that dboy, love Dragon`s Den! Well.....at least the concept of people doing well but not forgetting where they came from as some millionaires do. Can`t remember who gave them the money? But they obviously seen the profit margins and thinking ahead at the prospects of yield from what could be a huge global business if governments took their fingers out and allowed it`s production within the law.

dboy wrote: There are products produced from Cannabis that do not contain the psychoactive element (THC)

Yes, these products would be allowed due to their weaker potency without the mind-bending side effects! :silly:
I would be surprised if anyone gave them the money because they did not have rights to the product, only to sell them in the UK as far as I remember but I did not watch it all.
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Loneliness 06 Feb 2018 18:33 #6074

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dboy, apologies for my poor timing coming in like this but you give some good reasons in your OP and I will make some time to read that link. I studied philosophy as part of my degree and it was the most life changing aspect of the entire experience - no man is an island being one concept that rapidly springs to mind - great tutor who had turned his back on a job for life in the city because it gave him no fulfilment and saw an unchanging monotonous path ahead of him - after being a complete misfit and failure at school myself he probably gave me my best compliment to date: 'full marks for thinking for yourself' which still means a lot to me and helped develop some much needed self confidence. If there was one thing I could have chosen for somebody to write at the end of one of my essays then that would have taken some beating.

Thinking is free, you don't need to be in a group to do it, in fact, people often get in the way of good thought processes, it's much easier on your own at your own pace.

I consider myself lucky although not an ideal childhood, to have a stepfather who allowed me to watch Dave Allen and Billy Connolly both of whom remain huge influences on my life that other kids never got to see until they were older. IMHO these guys have amazing powers of observation and insight and are far more than just comedians. I remember telling stepdad what my careers officer had said about strikes when he found out I was applying to work for the NCB, my stepdad just said to ask him about the teachers' strikes and lol the anarchist was born.

My rural science teacher stepped in after I had been pulled from his class for a caning. I expected another bollocking but instead this guy had been watching me in a concerned way, knew I was struggling in a class room environment and when he said the man who ran the stables needed a hand with the horses, my eyes lit up - FREEDOM! This was shortlived after I got home stinking of horse manure and bollocking from mother as well but nevertheless freedom had been tasted and I got a bug for it coming up with the masterful ruse to say I was gonna go to school on my bike turning the opposite direction when I got to the bottom of the road. I spent weeks riding around the countryside, having lunch behind a bail of hay or on a golf course with nobody in sight. By comparison with my previous environment not least the simmering urban racial discontent of the early 1980's, this was paradise. I improvised with shelters in bad weather, trees, disused railway tunnels, started reading the landscape and developing a bit of a taste for history looking at old buildings and things abandoned, old houses with no electricity down tracks with no made up roads, learned farmers ruled the roost out there which I was kind of happy about and became a different person.

Although this wayward streak not surprisingly failed to spare me from the hell of unemployment just around the corner it was a life decision I am glad I made as was the one to leave home within a couple of years. That was my last year so didn't have to keep it up for long and even after I got caught forging my mums signature on made up sick letters, it was too late to put things right (when the bike was confiscated, I used my spending money to take bus rides to neighbouring towns - again all on my own oblivious to the dangers which I must have avoided by being quiet) and I got out with the early leavers at easter.

I am very much a loner and came more and more to realise this (uneasily at times) as I began to mature, now very happy with it after a period when I also realised a lot of people and society in general is at odds with it. Try getting a restaurant table for one and see how popular you instantly become lol. Even some cafes are snooty about this. Although I don't eat out much now anyway (fish and chips is about the nearest thing), I did stuff like that for a while and got a real kick out of being a pain in the jacksy on one or two occasions. It is amazing how often completes strangers would invite me to their table. I once said 'thanks I will do, when I have finished my meal' B)

It is also bit weird now because as the family unit is breaking down and more people are living alone, society seems to be even less geared up to the individual in some ways and I feel this is part of a pressure keg, melting pot type of atmosphere, largely down to economic circumstances - so many people with nobody else to worry about if things kick off is truly a worrying thought for the powers that be to contemplate, yet govt policies continue to fail families - cuts drive a wedge further into the cracks and people with little money hardly stand a chance. I do have a lot of sympathy for people who are alone not by choice as for one thing I have faced negative assumptions from people that I am so myself as though it is somethng to be embarrassed about - one in-law used to call me billy no mates but this barely hid his own insecurity at being alone for more than 5 minutes and even before his one divorce had come through was going on the internet because in his own words he had not had it off for a fortnight - I aren't exaclty sure what to make of people like that but one thing for sure, I don't want to spend time listening to them bull themselves up at the expense of others.

There are plenty of songs going back a long way about lonely people whereas the ones I can think of about loners far less in number tend to be instrumentals. The UK has a lot of very disaffected individuals of which I consider myself one. Hopefully, in their solace, a lot have found an unexpected sanctuary from the big bad world which drove them there and developed survivalist instincts that could be become extremely useful in the coming years. Some point to a lessening in community spirit and that a reverse of this needs to occur but I hated living in a small country village, the people are just too nosey, I personally do not want to know everybody's business, their daily routine, which day they hang their washing out etc and I don't understand people why others want to. It isn't just this country though, I once got stopped and checked by security on my way to the Eiffel Tower clearly picked out amongst a queue of families and loving (or arguing) couples as I was on my own with a small rucksack - if only they had put a hand in and felt that banana at the bottom they would have realised why I was really smiling.

Peak district is a wonderful place! I don't need any drugs out there. I used to do a lot of walking in groups or alone which I preferred as there is nothing like the natural high of being at one. I got to retread some of my old stomping grounds which gave me an enjoyable period of reflection at a relatively very young age. I get really hyper at times with a tendency to speed up and occasionally hyper ventilate when confronted with difficult obstacles - I have been lost out at night in some bad weather yet somehow fathomed the way home and put a lot of this down to those early days of exploration. I used to think the hyperactivity was part of my/an illness but now think a lot of what I believe and act like is down to a natural reaction to less than natural circumstances of my day to day environment/experiences. Diagnosed with depression in my late 20s by far the majority of my days where on the upper ceiling of manic behaviour although the low points were so bad they bordered on suicidal which left me rather confused about concepts such as isolation and loneliness. Revisiting going out boozing in crowds only made it worse and were as before my marriage I had simply not been able to take the drink, second time around the wheels well and truly came off the night somebody put something in my drink. After that I felt truly alone in the world and reclusive even agorophopic at times (which I still get from time to time in my 50s) for what seemed an eternity. But I was still never ever actually lonely craving for company. Somehow i gradually regrouped and started getting into my books, went to college and then uni which all in all took the best part of a decade.

The stroppiest unfriendly people I met in walking groups (which I became quite a regular leader of without fantastic but more than adequate map reading skills) were office staff including some from our very own site favourite the JC. They used to hate the fact I chose my own voluntary placements and hours and was much happier on a fraction of what they got paid. It seemed beyond their capabilities to figure out why I wasn't in any hurry to get a regular full time job so I could be as (un)happy as them. 3-4 day week nobody else to worry about, enough to pay my bills and put food on the table every day with plenty of free time, never a big one for holidays most probably due to wonderful landscape close to hand what did I have to complain about. As the famous writer Alfred Wainwright once put it: It's a wonderful country just a shame about some of the people in it. Quite simply they need to get out more but on their own (although in a different town where they won't be recognised).

I am much happier living alone and if I had my time again, wouldn't be so quick to settle down. I worked in football and music industry done some poetry literature readings and public speaking, plenty of committees but now have serious dislikes of crowds. In some respects I generally do not like people. I am fascinated by famous people who have become reclusive or at least very private. I identify with Gerry Rafferty quite a bit and not just cos I have a mixture of Irish and Scots in my complex ethnic background. Some musicians have been badly treated by the biz. Some have lashed out publicly, Van Morrison takes no prisoners has a reputation for being cantankerous and often comes across as an isolated sober voice in the sea of drunken happiness - so why do I like the guy so much? No guru needed, he once said, that got me hooked. Christine McVie (Fleetwood Mac) gave an interesting appearance on desert island discs a few weeks back which touched on her life in the 15 years away from the band. FFS most bands don't last 5 years in total! It is still on the programme website and worth a listen even if they are not your favourite band or even type of music. Learning to play an instrument helps broaden your musical taste. I really identified with that sense of going from being in a thronging wider group of people, some larger than life characters with huge egos to relative isolation and found myself wondering how I could ever go back to a life like that especially after falling apart within a few months when I did try to do just that. Sometimes we just need some time alone and for some of us that needs to be a lot longer - even wild guys like Ozzy or Slash get ill and stuff - we're all human. I like to cut people some slack because that is what I would like them to do for me.

I always did the cooking anyway so tended to dominate the meal choices making that a bit irrelevant as far as solitary freedom goes in my case. My ex could only cook things with chips and I couldn't have lived like that for long. Anyway to the point, my favourite things about living alone are being able to go online, read my books or play my guitars without interruption whenever I feel like it and having amplifiers with headphone sockets means I don't have to upset the neighbours (unless they ask for it).

I haven't had a serious relationship for many years but after unemployment has been a catalyst in the others breaking down I would now only be interested in somebody who was not working (so unemployed or retired) and happy to spend time at each other's homes whilst respecting mutual independence. All we need to do is build a new town and introduce our own currency with a UBI. I wouldn't put up with somebody nor their snooty relatives making an issue out of not having a job for 5 minutes nowadays. And as I have found out through painful personal experience, having a job doesn't automatically make somebody a good person worth spending time with, however they might act publicly. I have had some truly idle workmates who fail to see the irony when they call unemployed people lazy bastards after going home leaving an urgent task half finished themselves. Why is it that such self centred people tend to be surrounded by friends? I never understood that. When my marriage broke down I ended up in bedsit land for 6 months and 25 years later, I think that I would become more than seriously depressed if I had to go through that again. Considering the DWP seem to be banging a drum for understanding, I don't see much evidence of consideration for singularity/individualism even though they ask for your status on pretty much every damned form they foist upon us. One thing living alone has taught me is to take time to take a good look at myself, inside as well as out. I couldn't give a rat's arris about being unemployed if it wasn't for having to deal with the JC as I am a better man already.

So: Good One!

Cannabis doesn't agree with me and am now repelled by the aroma although I am the same with smoking in general after giving that up around the same time many years ago - it was tough going. Still nice to hear that some people get some positive health benefits from that though, hopefully no harmful side effects will develop from the alternative forms. I had a friend in Holland who it helped with thrombosis but he could just walk in a cafe and get it and used to like pointing this out after living in the UK for a long time. I am happy being able to make my own beer and cider which is a nice little inexpensive hobby with plenty of variety besides the enjoyment from drinking it which I don't get the desire to over indulge in now I am getting such an old codger.

Just a final curious point on this subject. I always seem to feel completely at home on sites like this even though there are people with differing political views. Beyond the obvious binding reasons for being here many of us are so through isolation or I think we'd see couples and family groups which is very rare here at least. One of the very first things I remember a very helpful man telling me was: never underestimate the power of the net. This is one thing I would surely miss and struggle to live without (6 weeks without a provider a few years back nearly drove me nuts). Basically as long as we're here we'll never really be alone even if we are. And talking of Liverpool, I can hear a famous old scouse song limbering up.
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Loneliness 06 Feb 2018 22:50 #6080

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Verc wrote:
Basically as long as we're here we'll never really be alone even if we are. And talking of Liverpool, I can hear a famous old scouse song limbering up.

Well Thank you Verc truly impressive post, And I too know the famous old scouse song limbering up
That sums it all up so Beautifully [Or Am I biased?]

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Loneliness 07 Feb 2018 11:45 #6089

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As the old saying goes "Cash is King" :pinch:

Do not let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace.
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Loneliness 07 Feb 2018 14:01 #6090

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Verc said: he said the man who ran the stables needed a hand with the horses, my eyes lit up - FREEDOM!

Exactly how I played out the few last years at secondary school Verc, preferring to hide on the farm up the road and skip school because I felt I didn`t belong there. Although it was my own choice to do this and not that of a teacher, I never regretted doing it because I think when you are that age, you just have that longing to do what YOU want and not what authority wants.

Years after this, I remember walking into the job centre wearing jodhpurs and riding boots when volunteering with the riding for the disabled group and there was none of this, "where is your job search"? or, dreading the appointment. It was a good time, although looking back and comparing life now, I would much rather go back in time than forward in time. I hate the thought if what is happening to society for many of the reasons you highlighted about living alone, not feeling `part` of the ideology many people are in and accept.

We are all philosophers of life and because we have been there, done it and are still fighting an unjust benefits system, that means we are stronger for it.
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Loneliness 08 Feb 2018 07:59 #6097

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Verc,
A very interesting read thanks for taking the time to respond , and your post was very informative indeed, not only that you could almost be describing me in some parts.

I have quoted parts of your posts that resonate strongly with me mostly without comments.

When I get going I find it difficult to stop typing ,like it flows from my mind onto the page, then I spend all my time editing it down to something more digestible, I can sometimes write the equivalent in size of a War and Peace novel when a simple yes or no would suffice.

When I press send you only get to see the tip of the iceberg.

I got into psychology after I left school, read Freud and Jung mainly out of interest and curiosity, Leary , Huxley also featured on my book shelf along with science fiction and fantasy, loved role playing games like dungeon and dragons, used to be in a theatre company travelling around prisons, hospitals, acting.

I am curious about everything so have thoughts on most subjects, which at times can be annoying to others lol, I try to guard myself though, if I get too deep into a subject that interest me, I think of nothing else and neglect other things around me, I can literally stay awake for days on end and some subjects have consumed me for years, computers took 40 years off my life at least.

It is a blessing and a curse as they say, I am a jack of all and a master of non, I cannot devote my entire existence to just one subject or even a couple, I always find something to draw me away.

I also have the habit of jumping in with both feet, then slowly start to sink, I then put all my effort to rise to the surface, so I do not make life any easier for myself.

Steep learning curve or not all ,I do not have the time.

Sometimes I swim, most of the time I drown.

Writing on forums and other platforms can be a cathartic and a rewarding experience like it is now for me with yours and other responses to this thread.

I did not intend to come on here for a while to be honest, I am in one of those moments when I am distracted, but I couldn't resist to do a drive by see what was on the main page without logging in and saw your response.

Bad move by me because my super ego would not allow me to ignore it.
Thinking is free, you don't need to be in a group to do it, in fact, people often get in the way of good thought processes, it's much easier on your own at your own pace.


what my careers officer had said about strikes when he found out I was applying to work for the NCB, my stepdad just said to ask him about the teachers' strikes and lol the anarchist was born.
Ah the NCB not thought or heard that word for a while,

Same thing with me in a way ,I was already a punk / psudo anarchist by the time the miners strike kicked off, I went to Moorgreen a training mine in Nottingham after leaving school for a short while.

My Granddad was a Miner at Babbington colliery until lung disease killed him.

So here was me fighting to not work and they were fighting to work even if it killed them.

I have massive amounts of respect for the Miners and the battles they fought, it heavily influenced my thinking how I saw at first hand how a Government can destroy lives and whole communities for political motivations at best and financial reasons at worst.

Nottingham became a focal point at one stage and all the punks supported the miners by showing up along with many others, brought back some memories must say.
my previous environment not least the simmering urban racial discontent of the early 1980's, this was paradise. I improvised with shelters in bad weather, trees, disused railway tunnels, started reading the landscape and developing a bit of a taste for history looking at old buildings and things abandoned, old houses with no electricity down tracks with no made up roads, learned farmers ruled the roost out there which I was kind of happy about and became a different person.
Although this wayward streak not surprisingly failed to spare me from the hell of unemployment just around the corner it was a life decision I am glad I made as was the one to leave home within a couple of years. That was my last year so didn't have to keep it up for long and even after I got caught forging my mums signature on made up sick letters, it was too late to put things right (when the bike was confiscated, I used my spending money to take bus rides to neighbouring towns - again all on my own oblivious to the dangers which I must have avoided by being quiet) and I got out with the early leavers at easter.

Same with me always catching a train to a nature reserve that was close by at weekends, it is hard to imagine nowadays but never got stopped back then me and my pals were no older than 10 or 11 at the time so was used to being outdoors and independent at an early age, again old derelict buildings have always interested me urban and rural , cowshed would make the perfect home for me, had some mad camping at parties at Riber castle where they filmed dead man shoes (brilliant film imo) and not enough people look up at the tops of building in cities always walking with heads down
I am very much a loner and came more and more to realise this (uneasily at times) as I began to mature, now very happy with it after a period when I also realised a lot of people and society in general is at odds with it.

The UK has a lot of very disaffected individuals of which I consider myself one. Hopefully, in their solace, a lot have found an unexpected sanctuary from the big bad world which drove them there and developed survivalist instincts that could be become extremely useful in the coming years

.
But I was still never ever actually lonely craving for company. Somehow i gradually regrouped and started getting into my books, went to college and then uni which all in all took the best part of a decade.
I am much happier living alone and if I had my time again, wouldn't be so quick to settle down. I worked in football and music industry done some poetry literature readings and public speaking, plenty of committees but now have serious dislikes of crowds.
In some respects I generally do not like people.

I play my guitars without interruption whenever I feel like it and having amplifiers with headphone sockets means I don't have to upset the neighbours (unless they ask for it).

Why is it guitarists always want to turn up the volume to 11 lol, I played drums for a punk band that never got out the attic, sure Paul said somewhere he is done some sound engineering maybe we could form a ........no I will leave that one.
And as I have found out through painful personal experience, having a job doesn't automatically make somebody a good person worth spending time with, however they might act publicly. I have had some truly idle workmates who fail to see the irony when they call unemployed people lazy bastards after going home leaving an urgent task half finished themselves. Why is it that such self centred people tend to be surrounded by friends? I never understood that. When my marriage broke down I ended up in bedsit land for 6 months and 25 years later, I think that I would become more than seriously depressed if I had to go through that again. Considering the DWP seem to be banging a drum for understanding, I don't see much evidence of consideration for singularity/individualism even though they ask for your status on pretty much every damned form they foist upon us. One thing living alone has taught me is to take time to take a good look at myself, inside as well as out. I couldn't give a rat's arris about being unemployed if it wasn't for having to deal with the JC as I am a better man already.
It seems we share some common traits and your points are well made and chime with my own views in a lot of ways.
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Loneliness 08 Feb 2018 09:05 #6098

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Well timed out while editing my last post which then gave me no permission to access error which lost my edits and by that time the ability to edit the post had gone so,hope it makes sense anyway rather redo all what I wrote its late, well early for some, where I have not replied to the quoted sections just want to say I have nothing to add you said it for me.

And just to add
And as I have found out through painful personal experience, having a job doesn't automatically make somebody a good person worth spending time with, however they might act publicly. I have had some truly idle workmates who fail to see the irony when they call unemployed people lazy bastards after going home leaving an urgent task half finished themselves. Why is it that such self centred people tend to be surrounded by friends? I never understood that. When my marriage broke down I ended up in bedsit land for 6 months and 25 years later, I think that I would become more than seriously depressed if I had to go through that again. Considering the DWP seem to be banging a drum for understanding, I don't see much evidence of consideration for singularity/individualism even though they ask for your status on pretty much every damned form they foist upon us. One thing living alone has taught me is to take time to take a good look at myself, inside as well as out. I couldn't give a rat's arris about being unemployed if it wasn't for having to deal with the JC as I am a better man already

My Dad worked all his life got a lot of respect for Workers but it is not always reciprocated, I understand why,they see me as a shirker, a scrounger a parasite,this inevitably alienates me from the mainstream,thankfully I might add.

My Dad never came round to my point of view.

To borrow the red or blue pill idea from the matrix my Dad any many others took the one where they could live their lives in ignorance, (its late cba to google which damn pill it is lol) who am I to judge, I chose the other pill.

If I am honest I have no idea which pill was the best to take but I made my choice.

From early on when decided I would not work I knew I had to learn to survive on the minimal amount of resources, money has never been a motivating factor for me and why would I need more than I need to survive, it did not make sense to me.

I was not interested in material wealth, impressing the Joneses.

I could on but I am going to stop it there for my on sanity and let you give your eyes a rest lol



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